When we first met,
I didn\'t think we\'d go so far
And then stop.
He\'s married and has a kid,
I knew that,
Yet I indulged because it was
All about what I want.
I jerked him off and walked
Away guilty.
What have I done?
Why would I do this?
Then I begin feeling attraction.
Ew.
Yet I keep chasing chaos.
We went further days later.
We went from jerking,
To fucking.
Guilt washed over me again.
Why did I do that with a married
Man who has a kid?
I feel like the asshole,
When nothing\'s seemingly destroyed.
Two days later,
I asked for sex.
\"We\'ll see.\",
He said.
We had a talk,
\"This won\'t be a continuation.\"
That\'s when something shattered,
Within me.
Where is this chaos going now?
Where do I redirect this chaos to?
As loneliness creeps in,
I sit here regretting my decisions.