I gave you all my best, and yet I still failed you. God, why?
I poured the marrow from my bones,
And offered up my untamed soul,
I built a cathedral from river stones
And prayed that the pieces would make you whole.
I gave you the sunrise, the breath in my chest,
The map of my heart and the keys to my room.
I swore that my best was a permanent test
Against the cold shadows, the gathering gloom.
And yet—at the end, when the silence fell down,
When the ash of my striving blew back in my face—
I stood like a beggar who’d lost up his crown,
Disgraced and dismantled, erased from your grace.
Oh, God, I stood naked and stripped in the glare,
With nothing left hidden, no strength left untried.
I climbed every mountain of worry and care,
And bled every drop of my love out inside.
If the offering pleased not, why ask for the yield?
If the vessel was cracked, why entrust me the spring?
I lie here defeated on blood-watered field,
A broken-winged bird that gave you everything.
You asked for my all, and I held nothing back—
I emptied my heaven to fill up your sky.
So why must I drown in this desolate lack?
Was my best not enough?
God in heaven, why?