I feel like I spent so much adoring her and walking behind her and worshiping the ground behind her that I forgot how i was being so idiotic
I loved her because she was pretty, because she was kind, because she was thoughtful, but the truth is, it was because she was new
And I’m not saying she’s bad, but I’m not exactly saying she’s good, she’s so much less that I believed and I feel tricked
It took so long to realize It was hopeless and useless and that everything and everyone was so much better
They can do so much more, they are all so smart, so creative, so perfect
And I’m like a puzzle whose pieces have flat edges
Even though I should fit together, I just don’t, I’m so broken, and if she’s so perfect
why would she ever look my way, I hate it all, I hate the fact that I don’t hate her
Because she wasn’t the problem, my dumb brain and its dumb thoughts and its broken view of her was
I will never talk to her with awe again, never believe any of my words, never trust my thoughts
My brain is a liar, as am I