vent_poet

Tired

I feel heavy
Slow 
weighed down 
blurred in thought
Exhaustion infiltrating my once active mind
A lack of sleep settling heavy in my creaking bones
Resting in the tension of my aching muscles

If only I could end the tiredness
Find the roots to this weed that has overrun my body and eradicate it 

Maybe the cause is school
The never-ending repetition ingrained into the education system
Wake up far before nature intended for teenagers 
Sit motionless for hours
Pay attention to people who might not even care about you
Learn frivolous material most will never use 
And for the unlucky majority stay at this wretched building longer just to play a sport
Then go home and study so that you can get a minimum wage nine to five
And then repeat it 
Day
After day
After day
After day
For at least 12 years

Maybe my family is the root of my lethargic state
From the constant expectation 
To the urge to make everything easier for them
And the need to be perfect in their eyes
And all for their sake

Potentially it is my peers
Those I surround myself with smothering my once ever-burning energy 
The constant burdens I choose to carry for them placing more weight on my tired shoulders
The never-ending worry causing excitement to wane from my brain
The need to keep my friends happy possibly being the cause of my everlasting exhaustion 

However, the most likely cause isn\'t external
The most likely cause is me 
My own racing mind killing the liveliness I once possessed
The sickness of depression feeding my fatigue
The constant static of anxiety reducing my vivid personality 
The permanent buzzing of stress forcing my weary mind to wander late into the night 

Oh, how I wish to be young again
Before the seeds of exhaustion sprouted
Full of life and color 
Running around with boundless energy 
Never feeling heavy 
Or like an unoiled machine repeating the same task
But it is just a wish 

Because I’m exhausted
Permanently exhausted 
And I want to uproot the problem 
Yet I can\'t find where the plant ends and the roots begin