Always Fading But Not Yet Gone

You don\'t wanna be the holder of their fantasy, you just want to be seen with what remains of your sanity

 

What is it like to be by yourself for years with nothing to save but rusted old pennies and a heartless body?

 

Sure, we can just pretend you were at home studying all the time instead of writing poem after poem after poem

 

Will you write another sad one? You know it\'s useless to fight a war you don\'t wanna win

 

But what could be left of a tired being who\'s too careless until nothing is left? Tell me, isn\'t that what you are? Isn\'t that what we all are?

 

Dark room, empty house, what if your heart\'s not in it? A shattered bowl\'s cracks aren\'t gone when it\'s \"cured\" with gold

 

Time alone won\'t heal, it will do anything but heal a once bright colourful heart that used to dream of a tomorrow

 

But you know tomorrow will always turn into a yesterday, a faded cardboard piece of your life\'s jigsaw decomposing with time

 

When will the earth decide to cut you loose of the iron chains that weigh on you like an invisible anchor? Well, they don\'t seem to be decayed at all

 

You\'ve been falling over a lot, you think you\'re falling apart and no chains can longer hold the searing pain that you hid from the outer world

 

Wear a different shirt, do something out of your routine, throw a friend a smile that stings to bear, a crinkle in the eye that tells a different story

 

No matter how much you hurt, liking the pain is an endless cycle of obsessive compulsions you just let ruin you when you thought you couldn\'t be more dilapidated.

 

You\'re too scared to face that you really are the only wall between you and the life you used to dream of

 

It\'s up to you when you use the remainder of dwindling strength you hold within you to break it down, once and for all.