in the silence of my mind I toil
With the grief of life and choices made
Anger, screaming, frustration and fear
Took the wheel from me
The True Me
A voice heard that was not mine
It all left
Left A void in my life still filled with brown
I’m clawing at the walls of it
Fingernails scratching and blood streaks
Red, bright, splattered and squirmy
Leave trails of despair
Tiny messages painted in pure form
My head is canted up, the tunnel is long
Eyes searching, squinting and pleading
the bright light way up there is calling me
And so I dig horizontal steps with my fingers
One after the other, I grasp each one
Right Hand first
Left foot second
and so on
When I run out of steps
I cry and I reflect and I grief all over again
Tears reflecting pools of sorrow so deep blue
Be still my mind I beg!
The still mind grabs a hold for a second or two
I sketch another horizontal step up there
I place my Left Hand
And my Right Foot
Another step and the diamonds above sparkle
The sparkle wraps around my heart
And Stills My Mind