Tristan Robert Lange

Devilishly Dreadful: Eight Pound

Shhh—don’t you make a single little sound—

You, my dear friend, will hear how this went down.

You may not want to go a single round,

But you, kind sir, will know how this went down.

I was his...um...partner—his solid ground—

That is how it all started going down.

Stop rolling around like you are a hound—

You need to listen to how it went down.

Hare’s the name—you know!—which is why you’re bound;

You’re here now—hearing how it all went down.

A guy died—poor bloke—laid there like a mound—

What to do we asked that night it went down.

It came quick—the thought to pawn him around—

Brought him to Knox...that’s how it all went down.

Eight quid each, we realized more could be found—

Bodies that is—it’s how it all went down.

Stop it—piggy—don’t make a bloody sound;

I’m gonna demonstrate how this went down!

See, Burke—my partner—the sharpest around

Picked out the weakest ones and they went down.

I held them, see, blocked their mouth, nose—no sound;

Like this here, you pasty bloke, it went down.

Takes awhile—you’ll see—have to keep them bound

Till there is no sound and their lights went down.

Nope, not quite time for you to be gravebound—

One more thing to say ‘bout how it went down—

Sixteen people, Burked like this for eight pound,

Every stinking night a murder went down.

Let me sit, place my weight here—your chest mound—

Now you will feel how it really went down.

They caught—hung—Burkey, no grave in the ground;

Sold him out—public dissection went down.

This is it—getting dark—hear one more sound.

I sold out Burke; immunity went down.

Before you fade, hear—my scheme is sound—

You’re the next one to help me get eight pound.

First published on tristanrobertlange.com, September 14, 2026.

Tittu

The series continues next Monday with:

The Secrets of Washington