Content Warning: Mental health hospitalization, explicit sexual themes
The things that I went through
When I was just a boy
I had no motivation back then
And I had no joy
I share personal things online
So I leave myself stripped and bare
It’s not wrong but it risks what’s wrong:
Someone who could hurt me there
In the Oceans psych ward
I was stuck in the room with Jesse
Braden was afraid to talk to me
Because I looked strained and messy
Outside in the recreation room
That girl started twerking
Out in the open for all to see
I promised myself it wouldn’t be working
Later there at bedtime
Jesse said “You little freak!”
I felt the twinge of shame inside
The weird habit in my cheek
I waited until he fell asleep on the bed next to me
Because I did not want him to notice me masturbating
Then I locked on in my mind
To the remembrance of yesterday
I fucked myself while lusting at her when she twerked that day
I had a dream that night of Ceaser and his black boy friend
Smashing through the psych ward walls with a wrecking ball
Beckoning to me and Jesse “Come with us!
Let’s escape this prison so your time here’s at its end!”
That girl Zoe had a crush on me
Back then at the Christian school
My sister grinned when she saw her come up
And ask me for my cool
Back when I was in the sixth grade I almost kissed her that day
But then she saw blood drip out from my demonic eyes: Exposed
So I screamed in fear and ran away
And she stopped crushing on me when she saw me wasted away