Michael A. McGuire

This Great Land of Ours

Everything that made this Country
great is now illegal. 

In the past you could tell a joke
and the whole room would laugh with 
you.   Now it\'s only you and your
attorney...as you\'re paying them. 

Men used to have an intricate system 
they utilized in order to court and 
win over women.  Now it\'s straight to 
court and a restraining order.  

People used to enjoy eating out at 
buffets until they burst.   Now they
take medication that makes x-rays 
obsolete. 

Used to dive right into the ocean head
first and swim around for hours, then go
home with a nice tan. 

Now you crawl out of the ocean and hope
you don\'t have flesh eating bacteria or 
other toxins clinging to your sunburned
skin.  

Sex now requires upfront fluid samples and 
an affidavit signed by your Parole Officer 
and court appointed Psychiatrist. 

Women seem drawn to men behind bars. Why?
They know exactly where they are at all times 
...can\'t come anywhere near them.  They just 
take their canteen money and blow them kisses 
from the other side. 

In the past, you used to have Freedom of 
Speech but now...uh...excuse me for just 
a moment...

Yes, may I help you?  Come with you?  Why?
What do you want and who are you...

Look...I\'ve got rights!  You can\'t just come 
in here and...Hey, you guys are pretty strong...

Sorry....gotta goooooooo...........