I was told you could help me.
I can try.
You’ve read my notes.
No, I never read notes from professionals; they tend to use big words that require dictionaries.
So you know nothing about me.
Afraid not.
So I’m wasting my fucking time being here.
I don’t know.
What the hell do you mean, you don’t know.
Just what I say, I don’t know till you tell me.
Well, see if you took the time to read my bloody notes, you would know.
So tell me.
Can you not just look at my notes now.
No.
Bastard, I was fucking attacked, does that help you.
It’s a start.
I was raped.
Now I see why you’re angry.
I’m angry at the bastard getting away with it, I’m angry at the court for letting the bastard get away with it.
You should be, you’ve been raped twice.
I want to kill him, that’s all I think about, 24/7.
How would you do it?
I would stab the bastard.
Do you want me to show you how to do it quickly?
You would do that.
Yes, this is the knife you would use; hold it.
Okay, show me.
Now, before I do this, I do have to explain something to you. He will be dead, and you will certainly go to prison for a long time.
I know, but at least he’ll be out of my mind.
Afraid not, if anything, he’ll be in your mind even more. Every day you’re locked up, he’ll be raping you over and over again.
Fuck sakes, is this my life forever now.
No, follow me, bring the knife with you.
This is a life-size bad guy. I’m going to draw a circle on him. I want you to plunge the knife into the circle.
You are kidding, aren’t you?
Indulge me.
Okay then, here goes.
Great, the knife went in four inches, you’ve killed him.
Is that it?
No, now I want you to tense your whole body, and when I shout kill, you attack that bad guy, and you don’t stop. I want to hear you screaming, I want you to plunge that knife in as many times as you can, I want to see you crawling on the floor, physically exhausted. You ready.
Ready.
Kill.
Six minutes eleven seconds, a new record. How do you feel?
I’m fucking angry, but it’s a different kind of anger; it’s hard to explain.
You’re back in control.
Yeah, I feel different, but how long will it last?
I’ll not lie to you, there’ll be times when it’ll come back to you, but the mad woman with the knife in her hand will override it. As you get stronger, it’ll get easier.
Can I be alone with a guy again?
You’re alone with me.
I know, but I’ve got a big knife to protect me. I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to carry it about with me.
Was that a bit of humour?
It was sort of. Can I visit you again? Are you allowed to drink with your patients? Is that against the rules?
It’s only against the rules if I pay.
Is that your idea of humour? Do you want to go for a drink now?
I might get arrested taking you to a bar just now.
No, I wouldn’t mention it to anybody.
Actually, I was thinking more of your mascara running down your face, your puffy eyes, and how you look like you’ve been in a fight.
Fuck sakes, you might have said something.
I was leaving it till tomorrow night, gives us something to talk about whilst you’re buying me beer.
You’re not very good at relationships, are you?
What makes you say that.
I don’t know, I just think you get dumped a lot.
Even more to talk about tomorrow night.
You like getting dumped, don’t you?
.Sure, you’ll sort me out tomorrow night.
I will, I’m going to give you all sorts of advice, change your bad ways,
make you more presentable to the opposite sex.
I can see a lot of beer getting bought for me then, looking forward to it..