Heartbeat throbbed like wings
at the speed of sound;
a severe bodily reaction occurred
after drinking a small
quantity of Ensure ensued,
where violent nausea
(rendered a rectal rendition
viz Jackson Pollack expulsion),
and explosive defacation
shook me all night long
after consuming a small carton
(just measley one serving -
maybe two at most) of Ensure,
which immediately convinced me
lactose intolerance alive and well
first experienced during
emerging adulthood of mine
to ditch the rest
or rather donated at a food pantry
such as Outreach House
a separate building
from Saint James Episcopal Church
on a Sunday, where hells bells
can be heard playing
(also known as St. James\' of Perkiomen)
located at 3768 W. Germantown Pike,
Collegeville, PA 19426,
near the corner of Germantown Pike
and Evansburg Road
in the historic village of Evansburg
(Lower Providence Township),
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania.
After nearly using
a whole package of baby wipes,
the walk from the toilet
back to the Easy Chair,
(albeit a bitch
to extricate one\'s body from)
seemed like an infinite number
of miles along the highway to hell
wishing said ill fate
on my worst enemy,
and I rather
get shot down in flames
than experience another
unpleasant episode
as generally detailed above.
Though hyperbolic,
I arbitrarily chose the words
analogous to being
thunderstruck by lightning),
(or so I cannot even imagine
getting felled by a bolt
out of the handy
dandy blue\'s clues skies)
or being run over
courtesy Rock \'n\' Roll Train
thee aforementioned
putrid posterior scenario
rarely occurs giving
gluteus maximus
a run for their toilet paper money,
which roll of previous
bon mots potty talk enough
to find men in white coats
and for me to sing out
\"They\'re Coming
to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!\"
by Napoleon XIV (Jerry Samuels) -
ass side note - the above ditty
played regularly
on Doctor Demento
on WYSP radio station
during the 1970
until pulled from
the Sunday night lineup in 1982.
One can subscribe today
and listen to
The Dr. Demento Show,
which costs
a whopping $3.00 per
individual episode stream,
or you can purchase access
through subscription packages
via the official
Dr. Demento Online Club (D.O.C.):
Because the show
must pay music licensing
and royalty fees out-of-pocket
to ASCAP and BMI
without traditional advertisers,
the content is NOT
available to stream for free.
One must find humor
in personal adversity
and tolerable unpleasantness
unlike a traumatic tragedy,
which occurs and draws viewers
totally unrelated
to the mortally wounded person
in question,
which morbid curiosity
gave rise to Rubbernecking:
id est the act of staring
with exaggerated curiosity
at something interesting or shocking,
such as a roadside accident
or emergency vehicle,
often while slowing down traffic.
My humblest apology
for presenting a rather offal
waste of talent,
but any bodily issue
ought not be taboo,
yet probably dealt with
as unspeakably inappropriate
since the dawn of civilization
and it\'s discontents
along a similar vein
regarding openness
about uncontitionally accepting
creed dance clear water revival,
race, religion, sexual orientation,
(which best be discussed
and straight to the point,
women\'s reproductive choices,
which back in them
good old DOS days
set the stage for plethora
of controversial issues
spell checked the doom of hedonism,
encompassing self expression
hinted of accessibility to maximize
on the First Amendment,
hence freedom of
promulgating hate speech a net result,
but The Abort, Retry, Fail? message
(now laughable in the face
of artificial intelligence)
then engendered famous
critical error prompt
in MS-DOS and PC-DOS
when the dumb computer
hit a hardware or disk problem,
such as an open floppy drive door
or a missing disk.