Ben:
My dearest, Ben,
It’s my sincerest apologies for taking oh so long to write to you, it’s just… it’s hard to know how to love you in death when death itself is so unloving. But I still wanted to talk to you, despite the fact you’re gone – despite the fact you won’t ever see these words, I find the comfort in that you’re probably reading this over my shoulder as I write it.
You… you had so much ahead of you – so much to earn and fight for. Despite the fact you shone in the ring, your heart and kindness outside of it shone so much more.
But Ben,
The world is on its knees without you, leaving so many things behind, unfinished. You left so quickly – without a word the wind whispered you away to a world of eternal love and eternal sleep.
But if I could wake you up, bring you back – just for a couple more minutes… I would tell you how proud we are, all of us.
Of everything you did, that we’re not angry at you – how could we be?
You are the best of us Ben, you proved that.
Sometimes I go to sleep and I wake up thinking it was all a horrific dream that I could turn on my TV, that you’d be there.
But you can’t be.
Instead, I have to carry on living, knowing someone else cannot, that someone who took life by the hands and achieved everything – someone who didn’t hesitate, was cut off.
I want to yell in God’s face, despite the fact I know they’re not there and demand you back,
and I know I’m not the only one.
I don’t believe in God, or his so-called “heaven”, but if it does exist - I pray that you’re up there so that I get to see you again.
But for now, I’ll lie in wait and be patient like you were, but it’s hard when I look into the mirror and I see your reflection flash a sad smile at me every time.
I just wish you would’ve had more time, but instead I’ll spend the rest of mine making sure the world remembers you.
I won’t waste it letting the world go by any longer.
I can’t.
Ben,
gravity may have forgotten you.
The world never will,
- Micah.
P.s - sorry for not sending this letter,
It’s just that I don’t know your new address or where you are right now, I love you.