the grit of the ground is cold
Beneath the soles of my
Aching feet
And the cuffs of my pyjamas
Are draped around my heels
Because they’re too big
When I look up
Things are still big
The pinpricks have an entire
Infinite stretch of vastness
To nestle themselves in
My orange companion is
Cradled against my chest
It is not perfect
His claws are digging in
And my brother is asking if I’ll miss him
At exactly the best part of the song
But I will
I will miss someone that
Won’t even really be gone
And how often have I done so?
How often have I mourned someone
Who had no plans to go?
Nothing has ever really
Left me
The toys still come out to play
The child I was made sure to stay
I cried
When I left school
And now I stand in front of a class
And teach
Everything I have ever loved
Is still within reach
I trace
Golden letters on
A grave
Only to look in the mirror
And see remnants of his face
I have never been abandoned
I have always been held
I have been loved
And I have been loved well
So when I stand
In this cold, October night
Looking up at the window
That has held my entire life
Wondering if I’ll miss it
Yes
I will
But it will not be gone
Everything is here
As it was
Never forgotten
Never really lost.
19:34pm - 09/10/26 - my bed.