I am so tired that my soul has forgotten how to ache
My bones have become ruins beneath my skin.
And even the weight of holding them together
Feels like a cruelty I can no longer afford.
My lungs have forgotten their purpose
Each breath arrives like an obligation
A small and unwilling proof
That some part of me is still here... Still expected to continue.
I am not sleeping
I am simply disappearing Into the spaces between moments
Staring at walls that ask nothing of me
Watching shadows move because they can and I cannot.
I have starved my mind
Of everything that once made it feel alive
No music. No wonder. No curiosity.
No dreams to exhaust the little that remains.
Just silence
And the dull comfort of having nothing left to process.
Even happiness feels like labour now
Even sadness requires an energy I cannot find
I am too tired to cry
For the life I am watching slip through my fingers
Too tired to reach for it
Too tired to care that my hands are empty.
The world keeps moving with its endless demands
And I remain here.
A mind that has turned every light off to save what little power it has left.
Somewhere beneath the exhaustion. Beneath the silence. Beneath the bones that feel too heavy to carry,
There is a version of me who once wanted everything.
And God
I am so tired of being the only one who remembers her.