From my mind:
There are times when my brain just physically cant think, when it can’t think I can’t do the jobs a humans supposed to do.
It makes me feel a robot waiting for commands that are never going to come,
from my mind - I’m confused because I see everybody else just able to get up and do it.
Why can’t I do it?
Why is it so difficult for me, why do people treat it like I’m lazy and there’s something wrong with me?
I’m not lazy, I don’t mean to be.
From my mind, I question why I can’t sit still and if I can’t do it now.
Can I do it ever?
I don’t like being treated like a child just because you can’t understand why I act like I act, just because you don’t think it’s real.
I don’t like being treated differently because of who I am, just because you feel like it’d help.
It doesn’t help.
I get the fact it’s hard to understand, I don’t understand, I just thought I was weird.
I would’ve accepted that,
but instead I had to be different without a choice.
Yet you still blamed me.
For something that wasn’t my fault,
something I didn’t have a decision in.
You should feel the shame, not me.
You’d take one look at me - unable to stay still, and think that I’m just doing to catch attention but you don’t see the hours of my time that I waste everyday pacing back and forth around my house, making myself dizzy because I can’t sit still.
You don’t understand how much I’d give to be able to focus, to have the give to actually want to do something, but you just don’t understand.
You’d take one step in my shoes and give up, I have to live in them.