Tristan Robert Lange
Devilishly Dreadful: Valentine\'s Voice
You might ask why I would come back—
But, friend, I am not here to say—
Why I would choose to run this track?
You might ask why I would come back—
Abandon sweet daddy’s stack—
My old man—why wouldn\'t I stay?
You might ask why I would come back,
But friend, I am not here to say.
“Horace?—Mr. Goodman?—you said?
You were stammering like you\'re cold.\"
What do you mean? What is your thread?
\"Horace?—Mr. Goodman?—you said?
You\'re speaking as though you\'re dead.\"
I\'ve said nothing! This is real old!
“Horace?—Mr. Goodman?—you said?
You were stammering like you\'re cold.\"
Goddammit, Mr. Writall! Goddamn!
Give me a chance to speak my peace!
\"Did you say you felt up my Gram?!\"
Goddammit, Mr. Writall! Goddamn!
“Ace, don\'t ever speak of my fam
Or my confidence will increase!”
Goddammit, Mr. Writall! Goddamn!
Give me a chance to speak my peace!
\"Excuse me—Horace—you shut up!\"
But sir, I never said a thing!
I feel this is all a setup!
\"Excuse me—Horace—you shut up!\"
I will get you and fuck you up!
Yes, Mr. Writall! Bees will sting!
\"Excuse me—Horace—you shut up!\"
But sir, I never said a thing!
\"Listen, gent, you\'re in some trouble,
And your words are not helping out.\"
I will, lawyer, burst your bubble
\"Listen, gent, you\'re in some trouble.”
I will not inherit rubble!
My Uncle Goodman\'s bank is stout.
\"Listen, gent, you\'re in some trouble,
And your words are not helping out.\"
Wait!—what is it I just said?!
Whatever it was, It’s not true.
“Horace, you’re as pale as the dead!”
Wait!—what is it I just said?!
“You confessed it was about bread—
Dough that is green, not eaten through…”
Wait!—what is it I just said?!
Whatever it was, It’s not true.
\"Mr. Goodman, tell me it all.
Don\'t hide away a single thing.\"
Tell you what?—what?!—Mr. Writall?
\"Mr. Goodman, tell me it all.”
You, like my own uncle—will fall!
Dad and I knew just where to bring...
\"Mr. Goodman, tell me it all.
Don\'t hide away a single thing.\"
...we knew where—me and my father—
right to the nut house—no problem...
\"You found that to be no bother?\"
...we knew where—me and my father—
the money was worth the pother—
and we brought him. \'Twas real solemn.
...we knew where—me and my father—
right to the nut house—no problem!
Wait!—damn!—that wasn\'t my own voice!
I didn\'t say those false words!
\"Right...Horace...and you had no choice...\"
Wait!—damn!—that wasn\'t my own voice!
\"...but to put uncle in with the birds...
Oh...right...I see, in with the turds.\"
Wait!—damn!—that wasn\'t my own voice!
I didn\'t say those false words!
It is not me, it’s Valentine
The Ventriloquist in my mouth!
\"Sure. That guy who retired south...\"
It is not me, it’s Valentine
\"Are you sure it\'s not Clementine?—
Orange you gonna speak, loudmouth?\"
It is not me, it’s Valentine
The Ventriloquist in my mouth!
\"Your honor, I here rest my case.
I find the defendant unfit.\"
But it\'s not me! You’re all off base!
\"Your honor, I here rest my case.
So let me cut right to the chase...\"
I will get away, stupid twit!
\"Your honor, I here rest my case.
I find the defendant unfit.
We seek this ruling: insane.
Pad him away; calm down his mind.\"
Oh no!—not that!—I\'d rather wane...
\"We seek this ruling: insane.
Horace needs some help for his brain.\"
Screw you! You can\'t do this—you\'ll find...
\"We seek this ruling: insane.
Pad him away; calm down his mind.\"
Your honor, please hear me now,
I know nothing of insanity.
\"I am the judge and you cannot vow...\"
Your honor, please hear me now,
Don\'t leave me here a slaughtered cow!
\"...when we\'ve heard your depravity.”
Your honor, please hear me now,
I know nothing of insanity.
\"Therefore, by power placed in me
I confine you to the asylum!\"
Oh no—good God!—please hear my plea!
\"Therefore, by power placed in me
I proclaim his insanity!\"
But sir, I\'ve said I deny them!
\"Therefore, by power placed in me
I confine you to the asylum!\"
© 2026 Tristan Robert Lange. All rights reserved.
First published on tristanrobertlange.com, October 26, 2026.
Tittu
+++
Coming this Spooky Saturday, on Halloween:
DEVILISHLY DREADFUL
Valentine\'s Voice
on October 31, 2026
+++
Now Available:
Appalachian Virtual Ensemble peforming
Tristan Robert Lange\'s
Annabel Lee
A Tone Poem Interpretation of
Edgar Allan Poe\'s \"Annabel Lee\"
available for FREE
on Bandcamp and
most streaming services.
Visit https://avensemble.bandcamp.com/track/annabel-lee to stream and/or download for free.