Tristan Robert Lange

the alternative iii

George III,

as royal sovereign

of the rebellious

American colonies of

Great Britain,

hereby

decree

that

upon

first attempting

diplomacy,

then

attempting

belligerent hostility,

we must recognize

our own stupidity.

we have been

fighting it wrong—

and here’s our new song:

all slaves are hereby

free—

throughout the empire

for consistency—

and,

in the colonies, especially

imbued with their

enslavers’ long coveted

liberty,

as proclaimed in

their declaration of

independency;

and,

in the colonies,

are free to seek amnesty

through all means

necessary.

we will send troops

to support this cause

with zero hesitancy.

by order of my majesty,

King George III,
version: alternative history.

First published on tristanrobertlange.com, November 3, 2026.

Tittu

+++

NOW AVAILABLE ON VINYL! 💀🖤🎶
Devilishly Dreadful:
A Second Season of Gothic Dread

is now available on vinyl!

The record includes every tale from the second season except The Boy Detective, whose mystery has yet to conclude and whose complete story would not fit on the album. Fear not! When the time comes, The Boy Detective will receive a vinyl record of its very own.

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