I was asleep for an hour, it felt like three days,
I was awake for three asking why everything was hidden in a haze
I jump and I shudder, I’m haunted by something with eerie ways
I don’t know what it wants, but this feels like extortion
I see the clock hands spin in opposite ways and every cell feels the torsion
Yesterday was a week ago, today is tomorrow, time distortion
The road, cars and trees all blend, they’re everywhere without existing
I step off the curb, to the left the whole world is listing
My eyes widen, jaw drops, but I’m too conditioned, this is okay, I’m insisting
The walls swim, ceiling crashes down, the floor races up
My chest seizes as I roll and jump
Somehow I’m unscathed, but not escaped, I’ll grab the whiskey and not bother with a cup
Nothing feels real, yet with the world I interact
It feels concrete in my hand, yet in my mind abstract
I’m questioning the existence of the brick wall as I make impact
I have no agency, I’m not my own
Asleep and awake, I’m in the in between zone
Trying to close the gap, I slam the door on my finger hard enough to break bone
It’s all or nothing in my head, I feel absolute hell or absolutely numb
My bed’s covered in pills, bottles, blood and vomit, what have I become?
I’m chasing anything to feel then drowning out everything I do to escape this dulldrum.
My chest is an unbearable weight in the evening, come morn I’m lightheaded
I ask God why He had to wake me up when life is to be so dreaded
Just strike me down, my chest, brain and hope are completely shredded