I tell myself to not think about you. and I consintrate so hard on that. Just that one thing, trying not to think about you. Sometimes, I let my mind wander only just for a moment. I see you standing there, my face in your hands. Feeling so alive. So free. I snap back before the best part plays out in my mind. it's the coldest night, I could ever remember. When your lips touched mine, my feet weren't on solid ground, all around, I see green grass, and birds singing. This isn't real. It can't be. Everything about this man cannot be real. But it was. And I let myself, feel summer in the coldest night. you were all I ever wanted, and you said you felt the same but somehow you found yourself in someone else's bed. Night after night. Lie after Lie. When it was done. I never thought the hole in my chest would ever close. and maybe it never did. There were days that I would not think about you. All of a sudden, out of nowhere and I would think of that night. Your lips on mine My heart would seize. I swore it would jump out of my troat, and shatter into a million pieces. Making a big scene, in front of everyone who was already talking that I was lost, alone. So they could, poke, prod and stare at me. They all say, I should have known better. Two years of agony. Two. 730 days of this. One day I saw a cowboy with a tounge ring walking down the street, and forgot about you. How easy it was, At first. He used me just like you did. I wrote him off. After the cowboy, I had a fling with satan. He was charming, in a snake sense. He made me purr under his bewitching spell. Then one hot day in june he went back to hell. Left me here, to sow the oats I reaped. Summer in the city to recoup my almost broken heart. Higher than airplanes. It was so much fun, It had to end. Fall came, and I returned home. Letters apon letters. Sorry baby, I know I did wrong. I'll never break your heart again. I believe everything you say to be true. So this is the moment, I knew I could only ever love you. Boredem got the best of me, from time to time. I slept with them out of spite. You had hurt me, now it's time to ruin you. My feeling for you, grew deeper. I forgot the anger. I forgot the pain. I just remember that coldest day. How the birds sang. My feet nor my heart was on solid ground. Your lips on mine, oh, how the sun shined.