nair36

mood swings, angel wings and puppet strings

It’s a little hard

To hold my head high

People say look to God

But all I see is the sky

 

Face buried in my hands

Eyes closed, nothing to see

I can feel my every breath

But I just don’t feel free

 

I feel like I’m moving to fast

But I’m moving all the same

How am I still alive?

When my life’s a losing game

 

Spacing at the ceiling

What the fuck is going on

I’m looking at the world

But I’m just so withdrawn

 

My envy to the birds

Such graceful willow wings

Free to fly and flourish

While I’m strung with puppet strings

 

I can end my strain

But I can never end my strife

What’s the point of going on

When no one is in your life

 

My thoughts are like mitosis

They just keep on multiplying

Everyday is hell and havoc

My will is surely slowly dying

 

My mood usually swings

Like swings on a swing set

I feel like bouncing like springs

But I don’t think I can spring yet

 

It is swinging right now

And it’s swinging to the top

Getting closer to the zenith

And it just won’t stop

 

And then just like that

It drops like rain

Are there any others out there?

That can feel this pain

 

I’m shooting up and down

Like a rocket that failed

It’s like I’m a speeding train

That tends to get derailed

 

My heart cries out

That it wants no more scars

If it had something to sprout

It would be cold jail bars

 

Why go back and forth?

When I can just go straight

But there are so many haters out there

That won’t let me be great

 

I’m stuck in the devils maze

And I cannot find my way

I learned that praying pays

But I forgot how to pray

 

God if you are there

Then don’t you here me cry

Please show me that you care

Please don’t just pass me by

 

I will come to hate myself

Over the littlest of things

How are angels suppose to fly?

Without growing any wings

 

All I have is a poem

With a story and a word

Writing sometimes helps

But will I ever be heard