(Chorus)
I just don’t know why
I live this way
The only thing I know
Is that it hurts 2 pray
I don’t know why
My thoughts exist
The thing I wonder most
Will I truly be missed?
Growing up thinking life was great
I never thought it was something
In time that I would come 2 h8
8 years old
I started getting pain drives
Then I found out
Where mommy kept the sharp knives
Digging in2 my skin
I never really cried
But it never amounted 2 anything
From the pain I felt inside
Maybe if I cut on the out
I wouldn’t feel so bad on the in
Got even worse
When mom and dad found the marks on my skin
I could make up a few stories
But I bet they really knew
That their one and only son
Had some shit that he was going through
I never asked 4 help
But within it was something I knew I needed
And I had 2 have it soon
B4 I had committed my plan and succeeded
Starting Jr. High
Nobody knew me
I saw a lot of people
But people saw right through me
Teens still wanted 2 b kids
So they would pick on the quiet kid
Why choose me?
Is there anything that I did?
(Chorus)
I graduated the 8th grade
On 2 my freshman year
Joined on2 3 sport teams
So maybe some could see I am here
All of this and school waz 2 much
No time 2 study
Old habits never left
So my hidden scars stayed bloody
Met a couple new friends
All knew how I would feel
How come I can hear but not c u?
R U truly real?
My thoughts never raced
They sprinted
So many images in my head
Forever stayed imprinted
No idea what 2 do
Nowhere 2 turn
So I just held it all in
And let my emotions burn
Too many hospital visits
So they sent me all the way across the st8
Level 14 and locked down
All just 2 set my mind str8
8 months passed
And I left with a smile
But they sent me 2 a group home
Isn’t that pretty fucking hostile?
Thought this whole, time that I was happy
But memories never let go
My heart was so cold
Sometimes I would sweat snow
(Chorus)
Introduced 2 Marijuana
It was relaxing at first
Then it went from the bad
All the way 2 the worst
Homies say that that they got you
Anything that U need
I earned my respect
And smoked phat sacks of weed
Earning respect
Was fighting and stealing
I waz good at it
But couldn’t stand what I was feeling
Got off of the weed
It was old 2 get high
But the combination with my meds
Made me feel like I want to die
I was doing good 4 a change
I quit the green plants
Come time when I was asleep
My roommates’ hand was down my pants
I don’t like being touched
Like that in the first place
Put on some boxing gloves
So not 2 leave any marks on his face
Went home the same day
But I only felt worse
My life never got better
How come I couldn’t reverse?
I thought all of this
Would give me time 2 rearrange
I came 2 find out
That life sometimes can never change
(Chorus *2)