As I wake in the morning
and open my eyes
a part of me is saddened
a part of me dies.
It’s a struggle to rise
from the sleep that I’ve had
for the dreams that upset me
are lonely and bad.
I don’t know where to begin
where to stop or to start
as I face the new day
I’ve a pain in my heart.
This lonely existence
I face by myself
has broken my mind
and shattered my health.
I’ve no one to talk to
just four walls for friends
but I want to be grateful
for the life that God sends.
The worst thing I realise
is that if I might die
there’d be no words of comfort
and no one to cry.
So I look at the razor
then look at my wrists
the veins start bulging
as I clench up my fists.
As I slice at my flesh
no pain do I feel
I zig-zag the cuts
so the wounds will not heal.
As I relax in a warm bath
the water turns red
time to plan for the future
time to plan to be dead.
If someone had noticed
if someone had cared
my world not forsaken
my life might be spared.
As I slip towards Coma
I let go of the past
I’ll have friends up in heaven
Not lonely at last.