If Only I Had Known

I wanted to be alone,

Wasn’t that my dream?

I just wanted some space

Wasn’t that my scheme?


I wanted to leave you

Yet now I feel so bare

I thought I’d be happy

I thought I wouldn’t care


Solitude isn’t what I thought

I don’t feel free at all

Instead of flying high

I just jump and fall


I should have realized before

You meant the world to me

You were everything I wasn’t

Yet all I wanted to be


Loneliness cannot compare

To your love and kindness

Yet I am lonely without love

Forever cursing my blindness


For how could I have not seen?

It was forever in plain sight

I thought everything was wrong

But everything was right


I thought it was odious hate

That surged through my heart

When really it was love

That I felt from the start


A love that lasts forever

Through miles of storm and rain

Throughout being alone

And all of the hurt and pain


I miss you more than ever

Now that you’re gone for good

And I want to be with you

More than I probably should


But that’s impossible now

For I wanted to be alone

And that’s what I got

If only I had known