I don’t look up
Ever
But today I decide to
I see you
The one I used to call friend
The one I told so much
Not everything
But enough to make you cry
You’d hug me and say It’d be alright
We’d laugh and fall into silence
feeling comfortable with each other
It was nice
I’d told you of my parents
The confusing kiss
The nasty words I receive
Never elaborating
I cannot fully trust
I was always betrayed
In one way or another
You told me of your silly crush
Of the feelings you felt
Of the tumbling in your stomach
The quickening of your pulse
The urge to kiss them
I’d realized I felt similar emotions before
Towards you
I’d felt those things
It left me even more confused
I suffocated myself
I bottled m own emotions
To stay by your side
To keep watching you smile
I never confessed my feelings
But you’d left me anyway
You told him the way you feel
You fell in love and left me behind
I used to watch you from a distance
Until I did what I had to
Regrettably
I kissed you
I was met with a slap
I looked up to see tears in your eyes
Why would you cry?
I was the one who felt like she wanted to die
I ran from your house
And went to school the next day
Never looking you in the eyes
If I had I would have cried
But as I look now I see a smile
You look at him with love
I smile weakly
I’m glad you’re happy
Your eyes catch mine
I freeze
I look away immediately
I rebuild the walls and begin to cry
I let the tears fall silently
I feel time begin to pass slowly
I begin to run away
No longer caring about the their stares
I find myself at a staircase
Climbing quickly
I reach the top
Greeted by a metal door
I slam my body against it
It flies open and I fall on the floor
I lay there and cry awhile
Knowing you no longer care
I realize as I look up at the sky
I wish to fly away
I crawl to the ledge and sing a song
My favorite song, The one that makes me happy
I feel everything but happy
I pull myself off the ground
Look around
I see you standing there
Silently watching me from the doorway
You’ve probably been there all along
I’m confused as to why
I’m no longer needed
I watch as you open your mouth
I look away
I climb upon the ledge
Look back and sigh
This isn’t you fault I say
It was going to happen eventually
You don’t reply
Goodbye was my final word to you
It was my final word to that girl in the doorway
I pushed her away
She turned into smoke
She’d never existed
I only created her in my mind
I climbed off the ledge
I walked back through the halls
But there I stopped as I spotted someone who resembled you
She gave me a kind smile
I gave one back though it never reached my eyes
She then looked away
I was not needed
I headed to the bathroom to slit my wrists
As I looked in the mirror and pulled out a blade
A vision of you in my head replayed
I took one final slash and gasped
I hadn’t realized the damage I’d done
I looked at the mirror and sighed
I feel bad for the girl who will witness this sight
The blood spattered mirror and lifeless body
I’d cut until
There was hardly anything visible
The blood was rushing out
I was forced to sit down
I heard a small sound and turned my head to the door
There was the girl resembling you from before
she looked at me and gave a sad smile
She knew I was too far gone
She stepped towards me and laid me down
She sad beside me and held my hand
Promising to stay until the end
I watched in awe as a tear of hers escaped
I took my uninjured hand a wiped it away
I truly smiled
She then asked a question
Asking me for my final wish
I replied to her with shy smile
This is all I could ask for
Her gaze flitted around my face
She pressed a small kiss upon my lips
My eyes went insanely wide
She giggled at my surprise
She settled down by my side
We laid there but before my consciousness slipped away
I’ve had a crush on you for awhile
I feel as if you always looked my way
I feel as though you’ve truly seen me
This she confessed
I turned my head to see her
Her heard was turned my way
I pressed a gentle kiss to her lips
Goodbye, I said