Shanezade

Why Gay ? Why Me?

Yes I’m with you but why?

and after sex i can’t help but cry

Because my body is reacting but my mind is in deep wonder

You’re a dream come true

yes a dream is what i feel like when I’m with you but a dream ya know?

The ones you try so hard to wake up from because you’re miserable in it

Why is it each one of you i kiss feels like waiting for the bus to come but it never does

 Instead of feeling like i am high above

Dear God what is wrong with me?

But suddenly when she smiles at me

I feel as if the world around me disappears

as if butterflies possessed my whole body and carried me away

but what would my family say?

Why is it when i see a woman i get shy

and when our lips touch i began to fly

into this land where my heart is in harmony and my body is in deep awe.. 

I know what i am suppose to be

i am a woman after all so this cannot be

i was made for a man atleast that’s what I’ve been taught

if i do not obey my afterlife’s land will be very hot 🔥

So if this is so wrong why not take it away?

Make me “normal” Come on damnit save my day!!!

Instead of making me feel like I’m not ok ….like i am Gay…. 

But now set my heart free

yes free from the guilt of how i feel 

Because this is not a wound that needs to heal

this is me and this is real 

No longer shall i shout out to thee

“ Why Gay? Why Me?”