headcase._

Time.

 

Time can do a lot to someone. Expose a lot. Ruin a lot.

Time shows the meaning, the truth behind people\'s actions and words.

Despite what they plead for. What they beg for.

 

As your time disappears day by day, so does everything you thought you knew about the ones you call \"close\". The ones you call \"friends\".

The ones you thought no matter what, you could always trust them?

You were just an outlet for their anger, their jokes. You never meant anything to them.

Over time that become clear to you.

 

As time goes on, you become exposed to everything\'s truth, and each lie\'s truth tears deeper and deeper into your heart. It ruins you.

Ruins your friendships.

Ruins your self-esteem.

Ruins your trust.

Ruins your fucking life.

 

Knowledge is power?

No. Knowledge is suffering.

Knowledge is pain and suffering that can never be removed or helped like by a bandage on a wound.

No, this wound is internal, eternal. Eternally internal, to never be healed, forgotten, fixed.

 

Time is a human concept created by mankind to help measure their lives.

I don\'t see it as some form of measurement. No, I see it as a reminder.

A constant never starting, never ending, non-existing reminder.

 

A reminder of how many years I\'ve fought depression.

Of how many months I\'ve gone being lied to, made fun of, betrayed and never knew of it.

Of how many days it\'s been since I truly smiled. Of how long it\'s been since I called self harm my coping method.

Of how long I\'ve been holding on, fighting, and trying my hardest.

 

And for what?