A baby\'s breath and I am alive / how much will it cost to live?
what cold harsh realities will break the small bubble of perfection I dwell in?
Who will come along and snatch my innocence / as though it\'s a 25cent prize?
Will I live? Will I die? / or am I simply destined to die on the inside
a cold empty shell of the girl that I once was.
The sentimental festivities roar / as I curl up, alone but with a notebook / and a pen.
They are all I need / all I need to create / all I need to be
They can pour out whatever passion / whatever pain / dwells in my heart / they can make it flow
they can never cross anything out / for that would be crossing out reality
and I realize that I am simply their tool / used to create / when I am destroyed.
\"Are you okay?\" they ask / always the same question / I nod, say yes, give a smile
they take it / they believe it / they run away with it / but why can\'t one person stop me and say
\"no you\'re not\" / \"tell me what\'s wrong\" / I\'d tell them I was broken, tangled, mangled beyond repair
I\'d show them my arms / show them my heart / and if that wasn\'t enough to scare them away
I\'d show them the black poems / the dark thoughts / the angry rhymes / the violent pictures
stories molded full of hate / i\'d tell them I need help desperately / that depression owned every fiber of my being
that this wasn\'t enough / that I needed a salvation
silly little girls / laughing about pointless topics / no one cares except them
and when one of them excuses herself / she seems no different from the rest
no one would guess / that she cries, she dies / she pleads, she needs
someone, something, somewhere / to get her out of here / out of this / she\'s drowning
she runs to the bathroom / and locks herself in / back to these familiar walls again?
she turns the water on full blast / so no one hears her moans of pain
and she\'ll go back to her superficial friends / and act like one of them / but that\'s all it is, an act
a fallacy in the heads of strangers / because no one can dig deep enough to see what\'s underneath
static from the radio / covering up the desperate sobs / echoing from the throat of a young girl
the pain she feels / it\'s not new / just from a different source / one she\'d never known before
romance suddenly had sparked an appeal / that one boy / he\'s just one boy / but the boy she\'d loved so long
the kiss still fresh on her lips / the words imprinted on her heart / \"it was just a dare\"
a simple black dress / a clear fall night / just one chance / one chance to impress them all
to show / I\'m not a little girl anymore / I feel the eyes / the stares / unprepared
what happened to the ribbons / the bows and the curls / the lace and the pink sparkly lip gloss?
replaced by short skirts / thin straps / shiny, perfect lips / clear blue eyes / coated in a shadow of black
a simple pearl / lying on her chest
the dark of night / pitch black ideas racing in my head / can\'t sleep, not yet / too much to write / too many words
words to piece together / words to put my heart and soul into / do I sculpt the words / or do they sculpt me?
we make each other / the pen, the paper, the keyboard and me / we are such good friends
they take raw words and form them into a river / of peace and serenity, of blood and pain / depending on the day
the light stays off / for when it comes, it scares away the thoughts / that come sneaking in from the dark
welcomed by my mind / no matter how weak or tired I truly am / midnight musings
I\'ll sit in the closet / staring at nothing / the ghosts of the past come floating in / they remind me of the life I missed
the things I did not relish / for they promised to always be there / the people I didn\'t tell I loved
the memories that we shared / and I wish them all away / I wish for warmth, and peace
I wish for them to leave me / or sit in quiet, at least / they limit me / they break me / piece by piece
bone by bone / then they simply float away / leaving me broken and alone
what if I only had one more chance / one more little verse and then that was it
life was over / the pain was gone / what to say?
I have accomplished nothing / there is nothing to leave my name on / I would simply disappear
what would mark my existence? / I need my epiphany / I need my life
((one song glory))
just another sleepy suburb morning / the neighborhood learns to start its day
the girls sit and smile / laugh flirtatiously / boys showing off in all the usual ways
the old man at the end of the street / whose children are grown and gone
starts the lawnmower with a friendly wave / as he tends all he has left - the ground he\'s on
half a dozen fathers pull out / work duties calling their names /
they smile at the sight of their children / and drive out of sun and into rain
the mothers start a million tasks / left to them by those they love
they power through with strength / strength seeming to come from abouve
sure it can sound boring / the tasks seem monotonous and mundane /
but yet at the same time each day on this street / will never be quite the same
//
another sleepy morning in the same old neighborhood / the children already playing / boys show off to girls
who giggle and toss their hair around / the old man starts up his tractor / all he has left after 70 hard years
is the land under his feet / but he\'s proud of that land / the fathers are leaving for work /
they\'ll smile at their children as the sunshine fades from their days / duty calls / must provide
mothers start / working, always working / making sure everything\'s perfect / in such a serene grace
it\'s not much / it\'s mundane / but the sky\'s the limit / on these sleepy summer days
Look at her / what do you see in her / short skirts / high heels / shiny hair / she\'s pretty I guess /
but why can\'t you see / when we\'re sitting together / and you\'re talking about everything you\'ve done
that I\'m right for you / are you this comfortable with her? / you\'re not / I see the way you are
you watch everything you do and say / just to make sure she still sees you / but you see how it is with me?
I like who you are / naturally / without pretending / you talk about her / ways she\'ll notice you
can\'t you see the pain in my eyes / we share secrets / we swap dreams / you belong with me
you watch her with that adoring look / why can\'t you look at me that way / the way i look at you
beauty / it\'s just a fallacy / a word thrown around / carelessly / with the ability to make or break young girls / to strip away every ounce of confidence / to break her to her core / or to empower her / to raise her / to fill her up
another glassy stare / is anyone truly alive / short breaths / barely alive / yet the pain makes the numbness go away / it\'s something raw / something real / something I need / the crimson silver draws / the sadness on the tile floor
you toss the words around / without a thought / can\'t you see / the marks they make on me / permanently etched onto my heart / for no one else to see / sitting in there out of view / remembered by only me