13 was supposed to be the start of maturity
Not the start of addiction
You are supposed to be playing with makeup
Not taking blades to your skin
School journals should be filled with class notes
Not with different versions of suicide letters
I had no intention of ruining my youth
But when there are kids who destroy who you are
Do you actually have a choice?
Held down against my will
As my sleeves were pushed up
And I was asked if I cut myself
I had never thought of hurting myself like that
The bullying soon subsided
I was left with their words being screamed at me
By a demon that had awoken in my body
And took over every thought I had
Just do it, hurt yourself
No one cares about you, you’re just a loser
You’ll love the drag of the razor
And the way blood will trickle down your wrist
Life isn’t worth living when nobody loves you
So why don’t you kill yourself?
Once I started, there was no stopping
There was no sense of pain to it
Just a rush of relief
It was like little licks from the devil
Razors on skin should never feel this good
My brain flooded with endorphins
As a smile stretched over my lips
There was never any intention to get this bad
I didn’t want to let this destroy me
But I knew that I no longer had any choice
It was my life, and there was no stopping it