Their words were what kept me going
I could never see what they saw,
Only all that I hated about myself:
Hip bones that barely showed,
The fat that hung over the tops of my jeans,
And the way that my arms sagged.
But I had something they all strived for.
Something that media felt girls needed to know about:
The thigh gap.
It determined no girls beauty, but society wanted us to hate ourselves
Another trick to get young girls into trying new workouts
Or starving themselves for days at a time
People who didn’t know me and that I would never meet
Constantly praised the body I hated so much
Their harsh words were what kept me going
Things I thought were compliments
That were actually tearing me apart
You can starve for longer next time
No don’t eat that, it’ll bloat you
Keep going, lose the weight
No one is going to love you if you’re fat
You can do it
These girls were killing me
A slow, sad death
My insides were rotting
My brain was being poisoned
And I kept starving