Dessy.23

That\'s just Life

I keep looking for love in all the wrong places. In all the wrong ways. But aye i mean thats life though right? And to be honest its not even love im searching for. I just wanna feel wanted. At first i though that meant being in a relationship but that just simply wasn\'t enough. So i thought hey why not try the unthinkable and give it all I got? Maybe things will get better. Mannnn was I stupid. Sex only made it worse. I got attached to a man that only dragged me through the dirt. Took a break from that tried to recollect myself. But then some how i reconnected with my old piece. How stupid was that? I had just put my heart back up on the shelf. The shelf that kept it safe and high up from all the danger. Two days in and im already down for whatever. He gave me a phone call and told me to always keep my head up. I some how mistook his words for love again. I should\'ve learned the first time when it comes to other men. He asked me to come over and chill, I already knew where this was going. Im hesitant cause im not sure if this is what i really want. This feeling in my gut was telling me to just keep it pushing. But nah my heart was on some other shit. Telling me he was the one and shit. I go over to his house, took a seat on the couch and not before long we were making out. And for a moment i felt it. I felt that missing piece. That piece I needed to finally be happy. But soon I realized this shit was only temporary so i got myself together cause it was fucking scary. Now don\'t get me wrong the sex was amazing. But for a minute i found myself dazing. I told him I had to go hoping this was the brand new start of something fresh. Boy was I wrong, this was just some shit he wanted to get off his chest. He fucked and then dipped. That day after I left his crib. We talked for a few minutes then it was like he disappeared. Like he didn\'t give a fuck. Im in my room wondering \"why am i the one thats all fucked up?\" it was his first time not mine. So why is this shit still on my mind. That\'s something i just can\'t figure out. I try to play it tough and ignore him and shit. But inside its hurting me like a bitch. I feel used i feel played i feel weak. Damn....i never meant for this shit to get so deep. But you know it\'s whatever. Thats the way life goes. Males using females just to say they got a goal. Just to say that they scored and make her feel like a whore. But aye i mean that\'s life though right?