Your filthy stained my soul
With your skin under my nails i sobbed
With your taste on my tongue i tried to speak ‘
Memories forever there, pain forever lasting
No shower allowed, many tests
The thought of death was on my brain
One bullet is cheaper than therapy
Cheaper than sharing my story
Bruises. Screams. Cries. Hatred. Virginity taken.
Lust was running through your veins
Disgusting what people will do for lust
Death never seems so touchable
Hatred never seemed so real
I was out of touch with reality
Your name was spoken in silence and still caused my heart to drop heavy with fear
And i know everyone is running from someone
But i was caught by you
Wrapped up in webs of fear
Always on my mind, a year since attack
Your voice runs through my thoughts painfully
Your disgust and hatred rubbed off on me
I lost my sanity when i left that wash
My family held me tight as i watched friends walk out
I watched opportunities vanish
You forced everyone out of my life
Because of your selfish choices you made
You forced me into a deep silence
Choking and suffocating in your foolish choices
Hurting and crying i find it hard to sleep
I distract myself with drama to forget my suffering
My name isn’t my name anymore
My body isn’t my body
I don’t belong to myself
I hate my being
I still think of you, cold hearted and blind to see your faults
You are flawed in beautiful and interesting ways
You are disgusting but it interested others
I don’t understand why things ended up here
You are disturbed
You are disgusting
I need to wash your scent off of me
I need to wash your fingerprints off of me
I need to get your skin out from under my nails
I need to get away
To get a new start
To live freely
I need to get away