A·dore
I used to find such beauty in you
I used to not know right from wrong
I used to look up at my mother and smile
But over time you destroyed me
The Drugs you took changed who you were
I fought for attention with heroin and coke
The bruises that never seemed to heal
You left marks on my skin from beating me
You used to have goals what happened?
You once smiled and laughed
But i saw those drugs take over someone i used to know
And now i hate trusting anyone
I depended on you to help me
Help me grow into the person i am.
But you didn’t do anything to build character
How can you call yourself a mother?
You didn’t even watch me grow
You were too busy blowing guys
To notice the tears i fought back in my eyes
You were too busy tripping to realize the pain i was in
The depression i sat in.
I had no hope that would would ever get better
Now i know i was right
You were too sick to take care of a child
You only saw me as an object
So did your brother and his friends
I was never valued in that house
You never wanted anything for me but to be like you
I can never confront you
I can never look into your eyes and tell you how i feel
Because you choose everything over your own blood
You choose drugs
And boys
Over someone who was made up from your lustful childish mistakes
I have so many mommy issues
Why did you leave me for months at a time?
Why did you hit me all those times
That time you tried to drown me, do you recall that?
I looked into your eyes and i see a broken soul
You choose this life
You picked to stop trying to change
You picked to leave me to be raised by someone you didn’t have to
I caused so much trouble for their lives
All because you couldn’t get your addiction under control!
You never said you loved me not even once!
I never heard anything nice come out of your mouth
I never got a chance to even say goodby to my own mother...