good night
“ when i see you my stomach turns
but not like butterflies
more like with pure disgust and hatred
and those words you told me…
they are stuck replaying in my mind
and i will carry them with me
wherever i go
and your name is always on my mind
not like a crush
but like the cause of your pain
and i can’t stop myself from screaming it sometimes
i hope one day i will forget your face
but in my sleep
it seems like it’s the only face i have ever known
it’s 11:00 and i am wide awake
because i know when i close my eyes to sleep i will see you
and i just can’t do it tonight!
i just can’t do it!
so i would rather never sleep again
if that means not seeing you in my dreams
and it doesn’t help that ryan is far away
and i don’t mind it
but tonight i am a mess
mascara running down my red face
and i won’t stop shaking
because my body is remembering his touch
and i can’t think straight anymore
because every time i go to think you pop up
i get so angry thinking about you!
you aren’t stable
as you were raping me ….
you were saying you were going to take care of me????
you can’t make up your mind
you go to church …
and worship God
yet you are engaging in sexual behavior …
you can’t make up your mind
i think i affected you as well …
i mean i must pop up in your dreams too right?
i hope my screams keep you up
i hope you wake up ashamed of who you are
because i still can’t believe you actually did that to me
i hate myself because of you …
i hope you feel the same