I am so excited
Because, he, the holder of all things sacred, like my heart
He wants me
He tells me I am beautiful
But looks don\'t matter
I\'m hot, but he doesn\'t care
He\'s so much deeper than that.
He tells me that I am intelligent
But he and his friends aren\'t interested in what I have to say
And I interrupt
When he does it, which he does way too much, it\'s fine
And I listen to his bitter diatribes
Where he pretends to be two different people, holding a conversation
For twenty five minutes at a time
When no one cares
And he should be holding me
He wants me, so much
To be less of myself.
It\'s funny
Because by myself, if I were a color, I\'d be violet
Bright violet, maybe fuschia
But with him, I have already bled so much of my hue away
Watered it down
That you\'d think I was white,
Until you hold white against me, then you\'d see
The little bit of lavender
That probably could pass for gray
When he\'s around.
But I\'m so excited
Because he wants me
And if only I change everything about myself
Dilute myself
Hold my tongue
Sit still and quiet
And don\'t interrupt
He might stay around.