Being used rocks!
I am held responsible for all things occurring, big or small
Let me tell ya, it just truly knocks my socks off!
Waiting in the stillness for the participation of a bastard who was once much more to me than he will ever be now
Those short-lived, yet oh so valuable moments in time tend to make me ecstatic just by them lingering in the realm of possibility
So desperate for the onset of change that I can barely even breathe
Then I was overwhelmed by a change that keeps on changing,
An eternal metamorphosis
I have allowed myself to become the cocoon that envelopes nothing more than subliminal purity
I had become blinded by my own rage that I created that was fed by everything surrounding it
Growing into quite a handsome young man, really
In a weird way, I used it to my own advantage and I still do in all actuality
Kneed in the nuts every time I allow myself to be tormented by trust and it\'s entire realm of phantasm and uncertainty
I have always been able to foresee my suffering forthcoming ever since I can remember having visceral thought
I have always been used by those with a self-centered arrogance that has forced them to allow their essences to be bought
I still buy all of it, but never on credit
I kept not hearing the truth even though he said it straight out many times
Throughout many days of innocent laughter that, in hindsight, makes me wonder if it was only me who was laughing
Between jealous mutual friends who were hiding behind the beauty watching us like black widows, willing our energies to send them flies
I got caught in the web
I bought myself a big fat cyst upon my ovaries that will never be lanced deep enough to drain completely
I fell so unprofessionally back into loves steaming swamp before I I had time to think to pop myself the big question
Then I could feel the noose tighten firmly around my neck as I was eaten alive by the eye of a hurricane
Now all that surrounds me is the wreckage
5-24-2006
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