Somedays are dawg days.
Somedays I can barely bring myself to move.
Today bleeds into tomorrow like paint splashed with thinner,
as it swirls and runs and dissolves.
Yesterday, today and tomorrow.
One long continuous blur of motions and numbness.
The same, it\'s always the god damn same.
I feel like I\'m trapped in a room.
I can see out windows that do not open. A door forever locked.
I do get lulls in my bland repose.
I drank wine out of a skull with Arthur.
I smoked a joint with Jack.
I cried with Lady Day.
I learned about what it means to be a man from Ernest.
I learned how to make a woman swoon from Leonard.
Me and Frank boozed and staggered.
And I\'d forgotten for awhile, the utter hopelessness of it all.
I remembered that life still exists.
It still moves and dances and sings and fucks.
It\'s found in a car on an open road to everywhere,
in an ocean of music and words and actions,
in war, in blood and death and cries and fury,
in between the sheets with a beautiful woman with legs wrapped around me in desire and wanton affection.
Breathe life into me baby.
Breathe life into this dying man.
Breathe you\'re sweet hot breath into these ice cold lungs
And feel our sweat between us, salty sweet sweat as I kiss your skin, it coats my lips as I kiss you.
But the air is silent.
Dust settles back into its rightful place.
I lay awake, night after endless night
My brain wracked with guilt,
with fear,
with desire,
with missing you.
Somedays are gone.
I\'d blink and whole weeks gone bye.
Hair grays.
Lines run deeper.
Memory fades.
Libido flatlined.
Vision goes...
Oh Christ not that!
Hearing fuzzy..
No No No not that!
Blindness and deafness is for the dead.
I am not dead yet!!!