lostinthoughts

Letter to You

I know we don’t comprehend each other

The way we try to explain our footing.

However, I want you to understand me.

I want to get through to you, show you how I unravel.

This is the only way

I could think of to disclose to you.

 

You see where my fluster is coming from?

Let me lay it out;

I stripped for you.

My body and my mind.

I shared with you some of the demons

That haunt me to today.

You’re the first guy,

I’ve ever truly loved.

You’re the first guy,

I’ve ever felt lustful about

Just by peering into your eyes.

Now when you shoot out these words

And aim towards the target

Of you wanting to possibly

Generate a break between us.

I see between the lines

By you wanting this

Gives me no certainty

That you want me adequately.

I’ve felt pretty low.

Lower when guys crudely belittle me.

The reason my brain is like this,

Is the things I’ve overpassed.

I’ve been deceived,

Taken advantage of,

And have been scammed.

I love you, Christian.

My heart it aches, just pounds in my chest.

I want you to be mine,

But will not force you to stay.

If you have hesitation,

Then that’s here to show.

We’re not meant to be.

I know you say you need to work on yourself,

But let’s be honest here,

It’s because you’re unsure of us.

But let me remind you, you melt me heart.

My eyes always gaze at you,

Amazed how your eyes laid on me.

You’re melting brown eyes, always too satisfactory.

Feeling your hands on me,

There’s nowhere else I would rather be.

For if you stay,

While we’re on break.

I’ll fall more in love with your captivating smile.

That’s why I will push myself away,

If you choose this path.

I can’t be hanging on,

I’ll just want what we had,

A relationship.

But that’s something to deep for you.

 

This is why, I can’t just lay around.

While you’re away,

I’ll just be wishing you by me

So I can feel your skin.

That would be torture if

You weren’t mine.

So I hope you see why I think

The way I do.

And see things a little better

From my point of view.

Never forget however,

I love you.