Nobody truly knows how far I will actually go, just to have someone like me. I will do whatever, be whoever, and go wherever they want. I look for people\'s approval because I have never approved of myself. A lot of people usually date me or are my friend just because they feel sorry for me. That\'s not what I want, but it seems that, that\'s the only way I can get friends lately. I get stared down by people literally EVERYWHERE I go. I\'m so fuckin tired of it! I feel like an animal in a cage and my purpose is to entertain the crowd. What kind of sick world am I living in!? People call me ugly, fat, worthless, a slut, and sadly that\'s not even half of it. I understand it\'s hard to look away, but don\'t be fake with me. I\'m not stupid... I know I\'m not the type of friend that a lot of people want but I can\'t ever tell who my real friends are these days...
It\'s hard not being able to let people in, not being able to trust anyone. They don\'t care about my personality or who I am on the inside, just what I\'ll be able to give them. I guess I understand because I wouldn\'t want to be my friend either. I\'m always depressed, boring, annoying, and a waste of people\'s time. I\'m definitely different... Nobody truly knows what I think of myself... When I look in the mirror, I see a girl who has no idea of what\'s going to happen to her. A girl who\'s so sensitive and scared of friends, of family, but mostly of herself. The scars on her arms shows her what she\'s capable of doing to herself. But that\'s not what scares her. What really scares her is, that something bad is going to happen to her again and she\'ll want to hurt herself more than ever before. No matter how good life is going, it can go so bad, so fast. Sometimes I wish I could put life on pause and embrace the good moments because I don\'t have a lot of them...