Doll in Wonderland

The Right Things

Falling, not unlike leaves, 

No, something heavier, weighted

Landing with a dull thud

Love usually hits me hard

Like a baseball bat, 

No, more like a semi truck

It isn\'t even love

This is a man,

A real man, a grown ass man, 

And here I am

Not even remotely excited. 

He says all the right things, 

He\'s got his life together

He makes me look disheveled

And when I kiss him, 

I feel nothing. 

I spend time, playing with my hair

Saying all the right things

Avoiding eye contact

All the while, 

Wishing I was kissing someone else\'s hurtful mouth

Oh, I miss those pouty lips

And I still see him

Getting out of the chair, 

With a look of determination, 

Coming to take me, 

Lying on my living room floor...

See?!?! 

These are the thoughts I should not be having

While having dinner with a gentleman

Who doesn\'t cringe if I want a second drink

Who pays the bill without complaint

Who says anything you want, 

You lovely creature

And I believe him. 

So why don\'t I want him???