Man the devil on my shoulder, in five days I\'ll be another year older. 19 to 20 damn whys it feel like 60 though? praying to God for direction on which way to go. been fighting these thoughts in my head thinking sometimes it\'s better off if I\'d be dead to pull the trigger for once and for all hear God sound that final warning call yet someone in the distance says \"answer your calling find your purpose just know all this pain was worth it\" is it worth it though? will I make it through or is it another broken nonsensical promise to look forward to? My head feels so twisted, my shoulders feel so weighed down, all I want is to lay down! Yet God says no don\'t stay down! \"Get back up pick up your crown \" yeah but Jesus how do I do survive when jewels keep getting ripped off see alot of people they got me really ticked off...