I\'m worried, I\'m panicking, I\'m scared
Even now, I feel like
I was not meant to exist, not meant to be human
Too many things have happened for me to think otherwise
I try to believe something brighter, but deep down
I know the truth
I feel like I\'m putting on an act, hanging on to something
That isn\'t there
Making something out of nothing, then failing to do so
Everything spoils, rots, and always tastes sorrowfully bitter
Sometimes I wish I could know, that things
Will get better and fall into place
But I\'m worried, panicked, scared
That the parasite of misfortune will stay
Attached to me forever
So what\'s the point then?
A complicated, patchwork girl like me living
Can be seen as a sad joke
Yes, I can try, and I do
But it seems to be
A delusional illusion
One of a kind, unique and alone
In the worst way
So I\'m worried, panicked, and scared
That things will never change
And always be the same, default setting of \"Too bad\"
Tears eager to flow and an abundance of hopelessness
A knife made of loneliness and mountains of searing guilt
I can try, try, and try some more
But how long can an alien keep its mask on in human society
And how long can a fish live out of water?