Blessed I am, as always
Now, even more than before
God does not ever ignore me
He has led me to my core
But, of course I still have my dilemmas
The questions that implore my brain
My heart is stained by emotional baggage that has been given to me by the boys I have allowed to enter me
This one I cannot see clearly enough to know what to do
Perhaps, nothing
Just go with the flow completely
I see him living his life so discreetly
I wonder if he could ever even put me before all of his friends
Or, even his enemies which I can see are abound him
He is one of those guys who look at this world through rose colored spectacles
God, almighty, why am I so caught up with his actions so quickly?
We just met the other day and I already let him have his fucking way with me- literally
I have no regret for any of it, and I have hope that he will at least remain my friend
There is always this invisible yeast infection that lingers over every love affair I have ever had
This time, I refuse to become mad with jealousy
Nor, will I be torn by rage- Mine, or otherwise
Maybe this guy will actually surprise me
Oh yeah, he actually kind of already did
I could see the night that he had by reading his Face Book feed page
He is just past the point of being a kid
I am a wise, experienced sage
I am in the midst of a sort of conundrum that I have not the time to ponder
In the center of a possible Paradise where I should not sit still, nor squander
I do not want to cause anyone ridicule, angst or pain
Never again will I let the rain fall from bloodshot eyes
There really is never a thing in this world that should ever come to me as a surprise...
12/3/2015