Daddy is mad. I watch it slow motion as mummy’s body hits the ground, and it starts ringing in my ears that familiar siren sound. I’m screaming as loud as I can, trying to break through the noise, whilst some pitiful lady is trying to distract me with my toys. \" Take the children!\" I hear the officer say loud and clear, so I cover my up my eyes and try to disappear. Tensing all my body, wishing with all my might that maybe just maybe this time my future might be bright.
I\'m standing with my suitcase, fiddling with my dress, they\'ve tried to make me look smart, but my mind is still a mess. My hair hangs down loosely, tapping at my waist as my anxiety begins to builds and I slowly start to pace. My workers on her laptop, tapping her nails impatiently, whilst my other workers sat on the floor reminding me to act graciously.
I am not an advert, take me as I come, I am but a child and I should be having fun.
They’re here. You can see their disappointment slowly paint their face, and I can feel my heart beat slightly start to race. You see it\'s not my fault, this is all I\'ve ever known, when you\'re in the social system there\'s not much room to grow. Cloth me in these dresses, and tie bows into my hair, try and make me look pretty, see if I give a care.
Like a fire has started deep down in my core, my inner temper starts to roar and I can\'t seem to contain this sadness and this anger anymore. Tears running marathons, racing down my cheeks and I can\'t even stop myself. I have no time to think. I\'m ripping at my dress, pink fabric falling at my feet. It\'s not that I want to scare them, I just can\'t take this heat. Their silent judgments worsen by the minute; everyone has their limits.
As they turn their backs and make their way out of the room, I start to let it sink in, that eternal feeling of gloom. I throw myself to the wall, restraining myself back, and listen to my heavy breathing as I have a panic attack. I did try my best, I know you may not believe, but at the end of the day at least they didn\'t choose me through deceit.
I want a mummy and daddy, I want a family too, but it isn\'t quite that easy, if only you knew.