Self forgiveness
The toughest lesson of all
It becomes too difficult for most to grasp
The fact that we are the ones who are responsible for the times when we rise or fall
The reflections from mirrors that are incorrectly used
The person who we most often abuse is ourselves
We don\'t want to see
We don\'t want to feel
We don\'t want to explain ourselves when our moments of shame have been captured and analyzed
We don\'t even want to hear our own names, for the first time
Impossible, almost, for us to recognize that what\'s done is done
Retreating to The Land of the Lost
Getting spun out of our realities to temporarily free ourselves
As the chemicals are worn off and begin to fade away, we slowly become the loaded gun that will eventually be triggered
Ending in an explosion that is too messy to find the chunks of matter that spew forth, falling all over the circumference of our delusions
So, intrusions slowly drive us insane
Each miniscule gradual of the pain reformats so that it can stand tall
To taunt
To linger
To haunt
Then, suddenly, they are loaded with apologies
Begging to be forgiven by anything that will listen,,,
9/28/2007