I dare not open, this brown letter before me,
If I leave it closed, it then doesn\'t own me.
Inside could be good, or very bad news,
But if read, it could leave me, so very amused.
Is it a letter from a another PPI claim ,
or a thousand pounds from a free bingo game.
A letter that\'s looking, for money I\'m owed,
Or a council letter, saying \"get your grass mowed\".
A ticket for speeding, in my very slow car,
Or a hamper of things, pickled into a jar.
A letter of congrats, as I am now a lotto millionaire,
Or a letter to invite me, to replace my thinning hair.
A letter of an offer, to join my local gym,
Or a letter reminding, to put the right things in my bin.
It could be a letter, filled with a relatives left cash,
But probably a bill, for last weeks reversed car crash.
I think I\'ll just leave it there, with the rest of its friends,
The twenty or thirty, propping up my table\'s leg end.