Sometimes I feel myself dying inside…
In the dark, crippled by emotions, hate, anxiety, weary?
The sea of thought becomes deeper as a navigate my way out.
And I get lost and give up, until…
I find myself and understand it all, and the dark clouds break open
And the sun shines upon me in mystical ways and I am alive….
But once again, I find myself looking in from the outside.
I am a stranger to my own senses, I am the ghost hiding in my own shadow,
I am the distorted reflection of my own image, until…
I see so clearly the vision of who I am, and who I have become
And what I want to be. I am complex but free ….
But once again, it’s gone.
Lost in the tangled web of reality and imagination.
I dare say I am delusional and functional?
by all senses of the word I wake up every day
and participate like every other person I see
and I become like them without ever knowing who I am until….
I define myself with certainty and assurance, miles ahead the race
Head above the crowd, restless and powerful….
And once again, I am confused by what I understand
and what I think I understand
and I glaze over people and life. it is unreal.
Nothing really exists because I don’t see myself until…
I hear a voice that tells me what I am or who I am and I understand…
And once again… who am I?
Sometimes I feel myself dying inside…