Pouring Diet Dr. Pepper down the drain
I hear the syrup hit the basin,
Smell the earthy, unearthly odors
As over and over in my head my responsibilities
Play endlessly, making my knees jerk
And my mind to go to suicide as relief
But I am conflicted by a little gorilla
Who now lives on my desk and reminds me
Of the warmness of the people surrounding me
It compels me to search my own soul to find this warmth
This warmth that I seek, hold myself
As I want others to hold me
To relieve my coarse, malformed heart of its own judgement
I can smell the blood in my nose
Dr. Pepper smells strongly
I can hear the woman cry
\"I can\'t go on like this\"
You and I the same
I want to love, yet I am so lonely
So unpersonable, so unsociable
So inept and so uncomfortable
I panic and I shout, I see past the screen
Into my own reflection
And upon further inspection, I see a twisted man
Who still doesn\'t know what he\'s doing
So weak of mind, body; constitution
Of runny stool; hurts just as much too
To think of all my mistakes
To ponder every wasted day
To describe my totality of experience
From concrete to ethereal
The hell I\'m in is more than real
Look at the infantile man who plays too many video games
Can\'t talk to anyone yet desires the connection and contact
They fight and they cry but at least they are alive inside
Our boy moans but does nothing because the fear has him in its clutches