Once again
I must pack up my bags
Collect empty brown boxes
Waste precious money on rolls of sealing tape
Again, I have no other choice then to find a whole new way to escape
All of my options are completely open
But, they wait for me to say something that they should have already said
What, exactly, is this force that always shifts me around?
Why can\'t I ever stay put?
I can\'t do it all alone again
With virtually nothing
On foot
No place to call my home
Roaming, aimlessly
No
God No
I refuse to do it again
We are going to have to backtrack this shit and simply start over from the plateau we were on back then
When all that we could see was each other
This time, I\'m not his mentor
I\'m not his teacher
I\'m not his fucking mother
We both deserve the chance to be in love again
I have always known that our time would finally come
I have been a spaced-out dumb fuck
I have not thought to save a single dime
I never have any extras, how could have I?
I do not deserve to be put like a stray cat out in the freezing Winter cold
I have not committed any violent crimes
I look forward to happier days and much better times
I already have in the recent month or more that has most recently passed with him
Without him
With others
He has told me the same about them and with his dip shit closet case pussy monger buddies
There have been blissful tears that well up in his eyes
Feelings that I could see on his face
He didn\'t have to speak a word
I do wish that he would say nice things to me more often
The place that I should next call home should be more obvious even then it is to me
His hints only drive me crazier
Crazier in love, that is
I long to hear him just spit it out
For him to sit me down and tell me softly that he would love for me to be his again
I know that is hard for him to settle down because I am the same way
It gives me anxiety
I am not into bondage
When we are both alone for too long, it brings us down
Now, he tries to say honestly that it is good for him
Honestly, how long has it even been?
Not even a month and I have spent the night there twice already
He told me on the 2nd night that he just had an epiphany earlier that day
He said that I will be there with him twenty five years from now
That I will be a grouchy old nag
My little time traveler
I don\'t want him to get scared of me already
But, where else makes more sense for me to go?
I just wish he would tell me
Just let me fucking know already
I want him to be happy to have me there...
10/22/2016