bro·ken
a single tear fell out of my eyes
i felt his fingers tracing part of my body that embarrass’ me to admit
i cried out for someone to help me
i was alone in that wash facing fears of not only being hurt but facing the fear of myself
myself in terms of changing who i was to impress a boy
for what?
to be pained with these feelings of anger and fear
it just keeps replaying in my head like a broken record
like a shattered memory
like a sharp pain in the right side of my brain
a rush of emotions buried inside me
trying to get away
screaming no
chills run up my spine
my skin becomes ill
my body becomes sick and tired
my mind became fearful of the future
“please don’t” the only words he listen to
already inside me
i can feel it on my chin and my lips
sometimes the thought attacks me along with the feeling on my chin
catching my breathe
the feeling is much like water filling lungs
i can still see his face when he was on top of me
saying those words
repeating those words
mind growing numb to the sound of screams
dreams of something greater seems to slowly melt into nothing
the desire of leaving and running turns into a oblivion
back arches
nervously pushes him off
prey
i am prey to him
his eyes
his eyes are unlike i’ve ever seen
his eyes suffocated me
in all of the hell in his completion
the thoughts drown out the sounds coming from his mouth
the feeling of his hands grabbing my hips and dragging me against the sand and forcing me …
ugh
the image replays in my mind
looking down at my feet
covered in dirt
eyes start to cry
wiping my tears and gathering my thoughts i crumble
understanding what he did to my body requires a shower
this all went wrong, how did i end up where i stand
in a wash, bruised, broken, fearful, pained, i don’t understand how i got here!