All around things are going great.
So why is it that my happiness is fake?
Forced until my mind believes that it is true,
and so does every single one of you.
I have no reason to complain.
All is good there is no rain.
But inside for some reason the hail attacks,
Leaving me with bruises that are black.
I feel the ache will never cease,
that I can only pray to be in one piece.
So the tears begin to fall down my cheeks.
I choose to be happy, so why can\'t I feel it?
Is there something wrong with me? That I don\'t fit,
into all of the positivity that I create.
If not what makes me feel numb in this space?
Why is it I have to strain to have a smile on my face?
When all around me there is joy, and pieces of my life are being put in place,
For my future, this I just don\'t understand.
And I don\'t know if I ever can.
I will continue what I am doing, maybe there will be a change.
I can start a new chapter, turn the page.
if nothing transforms after that I will have to try a different tactic.
Because if I do not then I will be giving up, and that I do not agree with.